Friday, September 18, 2015

Mother of the Bride




She said, yes! 

It is official, we’re six short weeks away from the BIG DAY! This puts us in the wedding vortex. As stress levels rise in our household of five, which includes the beautiful bride-to-be and the handsome groom, patience and understanding are as brittle as the glassy skin on a recently refilled ice cube tray. 

Last week Jessie and I were driving in her car. While sitting at a stop light she threw her head back into the head rest and said, “I’m so stressed out.” “Why are you stressed out?” I asked. “It’s you. You and all of your lists,” she whined. I clamped my lips shut and counted to ten. I couldn’t believe this was coming from the girl who is organizing her wedding guest RSVPs on an Excel spread sheet. “Ugh. It’s like the flowers. You want me to make lists. Lists of how many flowers. Lists of how many corsages. How many buttoners. I don’t know how many. I don’t know!” 

We rode a few miles in silence.

“Okay.” I said. “How can I help you? Do you want me to take over the flowers?”

“Tss.” She tossed her head like a spring filly. We both knew this perfect blend of her parents, equal parts analytical father and artistic mother would never relinquish complete control over even a single facet of planning her dream wedding. “I’m going to make you a T-shirt.” She snapped. “On the front it’s going to have, Obey the List!” She swept her hand over her chest with a flourish. “On the back it’ll say, _ _ _ damn it, Mother _ _ _ _ _ _!” (Insert colorful expletives last used when our kitten, Natsu, forgot the house rule, paws not claws, and climbed her leg like a tree.) 

And with that glowing sentiment still wet in our ears we burst out laughing. With the release of all that built up steam there was finally room for her temporarily misplaced rational to return. It was a welcome reunion.

This past weekend we had the bachelorette party, as well as and the bridal shower. For months, the groom’s mom and I had secretly gathered black, white and pink bachelorette party themed gifts for Jessie and her bridesmaids. We wanted her last fling before the ring to be special and memorable. On top of that, there was a bridal shower to plan and coordinate. And of course, the shower had to be as fun and unique as the happy couple, Jessie and Jake. Let me tell you, I’m not ashamed to admit that it took a lot of lists to make all that happen. 

I’m a lover of lists, all kinds of lists. I’m one of those multi-tasking creatives. My mind is working on numerous projects all the time. I make lists to clear the clutter from my head, to organized tasks and to make sure things get done.   

A few weeks ago, while at the party store crossing pink table cloth off one of my lists, I found a flimsy plastic tiara in the dollar bin. Jessie had vetoed the pink feather boa, the satin bride-to-be sash and the sequin laden, disco ball sparkly T-shirt. She didn’t want to wear any excessive bling or cheesy props at her bachelorette party. But I couldn’t resist the cute tiara and bought it anyway. As it turns out, all it took to change Jessie’s mind about the head piece was the which bridesmaid bought the sexy panties for the bride drinking game. You’ve been warned. Just so you know. Five wrong answers, followed by five shots of tequila can have the “tiara” effect on even the most conservative person. 

The morning after the bachelorette party Jessie arrived back home smiling. But instead of her usual floaty mood she carried the droopy posture of a wet mop and the sluggish disposition of a sloth. She’d obviously had a great girls’ night out, but the sunrise was no friend to her on this day. A warm, sticky bowl of mac and cheese and an ice cold glass of Ginger Ale saved her and the bridal shower. 

Bridal showers are for fun and games. To get the party started, everyone was given a name tag. The guests were asked to write their name along with either a clue as to how they knew Jessie, or something interesting about themselves or, for lack of anything better, their stripper name. One bridesmaid’s clue was Preschool. A close, old friend’s tag read, I met Jessie when she was two hours old. And our friend Cindy’s tag simply said, Sin Dee. 

In keeping with the party spirit, Jessie and I also wore the sticker style name tags. Jessie’s quietly read, Shhhhhh, hungover. My tag read, The Mother of Lists. 

 
Everyone keeps saying that planning a wedding is a lot of work. At six weeks away, I now know what they’re talking about. And as much as Joe and I and Casey are doing, it’s nothing compared to the effort Jessie and Jake are putting in. I pray we continue to be a close family and we don’t let the pressure of stress overshadow this special occasion. Through all the ups and downs I’m confident we’ll find our footing and stick together. But most importantly, I hope we keep our sense of humor through it all. Because while The Mother of Lists is an impressive title (I’m secretly really looking forward to getting that T-shirt) it’s not that important. The most important thing is family.

Focused on a pile of to-do lists, it’s easy to lose sight of the real reason for this celebration. Two young people found love worth honoring and cherishing. Joe and I are so happy for Jessie and Jake. We welcome him and his family into our own. 

And if I must have a title, there’s one I like even better. The one I’m most proud of is, mother of the beautiful bride. 

The Mother of Lists,
Lisa

Things to cross off the to-do list:

Top secret, super fun, destination, bachelorette beach party. Check.

Bridal shower with delicious food, crafty decorations, entertaining games and fun people.             Check!

Things on the to-do list: 

Find the perfect (not white, not black, not teal, not maroon, not high school homecoming style) full length, flattering mother of the bride dress.
            
            Practice my Hollywood photo shoot pose. Right foot forward. Hand on hip. Big smile.

She said YES!
See fun pictures from our exciting bridal weekend on Pinterest
https://www.pinterest.com/lisavogt1/